If only memories were be remembered once forgotten
by acollectionoffavoritequotes
Summary: Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had much more going on between them than anyone knew...and one of them forgot... not by choice...but forgot never the less...COMPLET(but sequel in the works)inu sess
1. THOSE LOST

**Ok, this is just a random story i thought up while reading inuyasha vol. 2. **

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**WARNINGS: this is a comtary made by sesshomaru through out inuyasha vol. 2. and it is SLASH. be warned.**

**Itlalics mean sess's thoughts**

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**CHAPTER ONE: THOSE LOST**

Jaken and Seshomaru sit in a boat going downriver. "Lord Sessho-maru?" Jaken ask.  
"Yes?"

"The grave...wouldn't Inu-yasha know it?"  
"Inu...Yasha..."_ it has been years since I thought of that worthless half-breed, who never was so worthless to me...._

Sessho-maru hits Jaken and he falls out of the boat.

"Do not remind me of that vile half-breed"_who never felt vile when i touched him...._

"Please forgive me!"

"In any case he is gone.Laid low by a geis I hear."_ and how I wish he was here with me....but no, that was in the past...he hated me when he left...damn you father._

"Y-yes... that was true...but not now..."  
"Eh?"_ what...do you mean...he is not truely gone from me forever? No, I will not let myself feel hope...exept..._

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**Just a quick little chappie. It's late, but I wanted to get a start on this so... more to come. **


	2. THOSE HATED

**Oh...i am SO happy. I got reviews. I am so loved.sniff **

**GoTrinba: leamon? you really want me to write a leamon? in my first fanfiction ever written(besides some cheap fruits basket poems) and you want a leamon? mabye, it depends on were this goes....  
Jb: i love inu/sessy too....**

**ok, we're moving on to chapter 2, and hopefuly this one will be longer, it depends on if dad kicks me off or not, and, I am writting this at night, so it may not be the best ever...but here we go....**

**Rating for sessy's bad language and a few dirty thoughts 0.o**

**sessomaru's point of veiw**

CHAPTER TWO: THOSE HATED

Stupid, stupid, stupid little toad. I should rip off his head. But even that wouldn't help my heart from dieing... I thought it had been locked away all those long years ago when my father took him away from me...but seeing him there freed it with such foce...only to have it bashed to the ground seconds later when that BITCH showed her face. HOW DARE HE! How dare he stand next to that filthy human bitch.

But....in some ways it might be my fault he stands next to her and not to me....WHITCH IS WERE HE BELONGS! Did I yell that outloud? I must have, for Jaken's looking at me fearfully. Damn. Stupid Bitch. Stupid brother....

Stupid heart....

He took everything from me. AND I WAS HIS SON! Even from the grave he's foiled me.... I don't really care about the sword it's self...not really even about the power it could give me. All I truely wanted was to take something away from you, tear your heart out and feed it to you. But you couldn't even give me that, could you?

I LOVED HIM DAMNIT! AND YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!

_"Sesshomaru!" Inu-yasha flung his arms around his brother. "I missed you." _

_Sesshomaru smiled faintly. "And I you, small one."  
Inuyasha pouted. "I wish you'd stop calling me that. It makes me feel so young..."  
"Ah...but you are young, small one," Sesshomaru teased, flicking Inuyasha's silver hair._

_Inuyasha snarled. " But I wish I wasn't..."  
"Why not small one?"  
" Because if I was older I could help you..."  
Sesshomaru was amused. "Help me with what exactly?"  
Inuyasha shrugged, before perking up. "But I'm glad you're home again "  
Sesshomaru sighed, his mind going to the arguement his father and he would have shortly. "So am I small one, so am I..."_

I always loved Inuyasha, but small lttle brother. Even when father yelled at me for it, even when he cursed me for it, I loved him. At first, it was only brotherly love, especaily when he was still a child. But then...then I truely began to see how beatiful my 'small one' was... and it hurt me....and it hurt the worst when father took that away from me, when he made Inuyasha hate me....

DAMN HIM TO THE BOWELS OF HELL!

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**Longer chapter. Yay! This must have taken place a while after his arm was cut off...as i said...it's late, i'm teird...it's not the best litature... who else gets the feeling sessy doesn't like kagome very much?**


	3. THOSE LOVED

**YAY! reviews! mesa so happy....big, scary grin**

**lyn: i'm writing i'm writing....**

**gods of insanity: yeah...that would be a good explanation wouldn't it?**

**GoTrinba: i agree, it is hard to find decent inu/sess fics....in fact, hard to find decent slash fics in general**

**::smlies::; i'm writing...don't worry.... though...that's the first time i've heard aborable and **angsty **in the same sentance...me glad you likes (big smile)**

**By the way, i have no idea what happens to sess after his arm gets cut off, i just know when he comes back in trying to get toti-sai (or however that's spelled) so sorry if i missed any key points about that time.**

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CHAPTER THREE: THOSE LOVED 

He walks in fathers footsteps. In so many ways, he walks the path our father tread. He carries the swor that was our father's true weapon, and...he hates me as out father did. I once thought parents always had to love thier childern, and when father turned away from me, or yelled at me, I kept trying to tell myself he really loved me.

But he never did. Never had. Never would.

It was only later I learned that my mother and he never loved each other either... Their marriage had just been to untie a waring fraction of deamons, and when mother died, father did not mourn her at all. Then, he hated me even more, for, if it wasn't for me, he could simply put that part og his life behind him. But he couldn't. Because of me. So he hated me, and I hated him. When I was finally grown, I was able to leave the estates and wander for months, sometimes even years, at a time. Until....

_Sesshomaru glared at his father and the human bitch standing next to him. "Yes father?" he says poiltily. "You wanted me for something?"_

_His father glared at him, not bothering to mask the loathing in his eyes. " Yes, Sesshomaru, I wished to speak to you."_

_"About?"_

_"You should treat me with respect, young pup!" Sesshoamru bristled. "But nevermind that now...." He turned to the human bitch beside him. The love shining in his eyes made Sesshomaru sick. "This is my new wife, and if I find you've treated her in anyway not befit her station as such...."_

_Sesshomaru did not miss the threat. He chose not to care. _

_"A human bitch? Why should I treat her with anything but contpemt?" he sneered. _

_"SESSHOMARU!" his father hollored. Sesshomaru was about to reply scathingly, when a cry broke the air. He stopped, mouth open, and turned to the human bitch. She was blushing and fumbling with a bundle in her arms that was wailing. Quickly, Sesshomaru slide over and took the bundle in his arms. Eyes softer than they had been in years, he looked at the wailing child, it's eyes scrunched up and small dog-ears poking through the fine silver mane. _

_He glanced up at his father who stood frozen, about to come at him, and the human bitch whose eyes were wide in fear. Without another word, he handed the un wailing child back to his mother, but just before his hands left it's body, it let out a small gurgle. _

_Sesshomaru walked away as quickly as he could. _

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**Ok, another chapter, and this one written before 7 at night, yay. I JUST SAY THE PREVEIW FOR STAR WARS 3. my brother totally freaked out because he's obessed with it...and i'm happy. can not wait til next may. I can not believe we have to wait tat long...oh well...i have the 3 inuyasha movies to hold me over til then (i love e-bay...)**


	4. THOSE FEARED

**lyn: writting....**

**kitty: glad you like**

**Crimson****TearsofPain: yes, i got the idea from the 3ed movie cuz it has a scene with baby inu crying... it's so cute**

**kitten: updadting....**

**GoTrinba: i would love to make the chapters longer, but i'm in middle school and i'm taking 2 highschool classes, and when i get home tris steals the computer until 4, and then i'm trying to type while talking to lisa (who i never really get to see and she's my best friend) and then i'm in the middle of rereading the black jewels trilogy (great books, go read them...but be warned, they're for adults) and a million other things. i find it easier to update daily but have shortish chapters. mabye this weekend they'll be a bit longer.**

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THOSE FEARED

I stumble through the forest, Jaken coming along somewhere behind me, wailing for me to wait for him. Feh. Why should I waste my time on him, why haven't I killed him yet? Because he cares. Not much, but he cares. I dout he would if he knew.... But he doesn't, and he shows concern, and sometimes that's enough. I just wish he would leave well enough alone and stop trying to pry out of me what's wrong. Feh. Stupid toad.

I still can't get over it. Years later...it still manages to amaze me. A small smile oh my part sends the nearly cought up Jaken scurring for the cover of a bush. He peeks at me from behind it, but I do not see. I am too lost in memories.

_Sesshomaru stood at a window, his face mere inches from it, his breath steaming the payne. It was cold out, and while the cold never bothered him, that human bitch had expressed concern. Henceforth, his father told him that under no cirumstances was he to leave that day to go ANYWHERE. While Sesshoamru usauly ignored such threats, the gleam in his father's eyes told him that today disobeying him might not be such a good idea._

_So, here he stood, watching the snow fall. _

_Besides, today was that brats -what was his name? inu-something?- birthday. That alone would have kept him. Since that day several years ago he had not seen the brat. He had left and not returned for a good number of years. And what his luck. The time he returns, and it's that brat's birthday. Feh. _

_Perfect timing, you baka. _

_Oh all the days to return... Just his luck._

_Feh._

_He was so lost in watching the snow fall that he barey noticed the small form pad up to stand beside him. He contuned looking at the snow while a pair of amber eyes watched him. _

_When at last the owner of the amber eyes spoke, it was so un-expected that it made Sesshoamru jump slightly. "Were you always so tall?"_

_Blinking rapidly, he glanced down at the small up-turned face level with his waist. "wha?" He blinked a few more times, trying to regain his composure. "No, of course I wasn't always this tall..."_

_"Oh. Does that mean someday I might be as tall?"_

_"SESSHOMARU!"_

_Whirling, both Sesshomaru and the small Inuyasha beheld their father storming toward them, murder in his eyes._

_"Yes, father?" Sesshomaru asked coldly. Inuyasha seemed startled with the change in the Youaki. (i think it's spelled like that) "What are you doing?"_

_"Having a 'civil' confersation with my young half-brother on my hieght. And what are you doing?"_

_The small Inuyasha stuffed his hand into his mouth to keep from laughing. Their father on the other hand...._

_Snarling, he took a few steps toward the cold Sesshomaru and giggling Inuyasha. "INUYASHA! Your mother wants you." Nodding, the small hanyou shot one more glance at Sesshomaru before scurring off. Their father contuined to growl at his other son. "I do not want you toching, or even NEAR Inuyasha. Do you understand?"_

_Sesshomaru nodded once. "Yes, I understand. Obeying is another matter entirely. He is my half-brother, and, unlike you seem to believe, I will not hurt him. There is no reason to."_

_He walked away. _

_"SESSHOMARU!" his father hollored. "SESSHOMARU!"_

_----_

_He later stood at another window, this time the sky dark, but the snow still falling. Again, inuyasha approached him. This time, Sesshomaru didn't jump when the hanyou spoke. "Why did father yell at you? Are you one of his servants?"_

_Sesshomaru balked at the segustion of being a servant. "No, his son."_

_Inuyasha seemed troubled slightly. "But I'm his son."_

_Sesshomaru smiled softly. "Yes, you are small one. We are half-brothers. My mother wasd killed."_

_Momentarly, Inuyasha seemed torn between joy at having a brother, sadness for his brother's mother's death, or bristling at being called 'small one'. _

_Finally, joy won. He promtly glomped Sesshoamru's leg. Startled, said Sesshomaru fell over, the small hanyou clinging to his leg. "I'M SO HAPPY!" Inuyasha gushed. "I always wanted a brother!"_

_The next day Sesshomaru left, but this time he came back in a month, insead of years later._

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**Whew.** **That a beter chapter GoTrinba? I feel very acomplished. Sorry for any speeling errors, i'm too teird...and any second i'll be called down for dinner. Just as soon as mom gets home. i am SO happy it's friday...yay! and this is the last full week of school in november... happy days.**


	5. THOSE SUBMISSIVE

**lyn: you are the driving force behind my updated (or almost) updating daliy. feel special. feel loved. i'm writing. **

**Gods of Insanity: yes, i rather like some of your stories...it's all we can do to contrubite to this gerne of fanfiction. **

**GoTrinba: i know... i can not wait to get out of middle school, and highschool proubly too, and get to collage or something. i really hate my science class. the schol idiots are in it, and it's right after lunch. not fun. **

**this chapter might be shorter cuz tris wants to watch inu sometime tonight. we just got disc 12 from netflix today. **

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CHAPTER FIVE: THOSE SUBMISSIVE 

I knew Jaken was frightened of me, more now then ever. But still all I would do was stumble through trees, not caring were I went...Not caring if brambles scraped my skin, not caring if I died... The only thing I could see were memories...of amber eyes...

_Sesshomaru spent the next human life-time alternating his time between wandering and enjoying the sweet innocence of Inuyasha's company. His father still glowered at him every time Sesshomaru approached his young hanyou brother...but what did Sesshomaru care?_

_One spring day Sesshmaru and Inuyasha were taking a walk in the gardens their father so carfuly cultifated, Inuyasha tearing up flowers and spreding choas every were he tread. Sesshomaru had half a mind to tell him to stop, and very nearly did, that is, until Inuyasha tackled him. Then such a thought flew from his mind, as his breath also flew away. _

_"Inu...yasha...what are...you...do...ing...?" he managed to gasp out while fighting to regain breath, which was a task actuly growing harder. This was due to the fact that Inuyasha was perched on his mid-section and laughing his head off. At what, Sesshoamu could not see._

_Inuyasha finally stoped laughing, and lent over, so that his already long hair pooled around a bemused Sesshomaru's head. "Sess," he whispered. " Have you ever wanted to kiss someone?"_

_Now, Sesshomaru found himself even more surpised then he had been. "Wha- what do you mean?"_

_Inuyasha sighed heavily, as if it was the simplest thing in the world and Sesshomaru was a baka not to get it. He leaned even closer, and now his breath was whispering over Sesshomaru's pointed ear. "Have you ever wanted someone...wanted to kiss them all over...." he stoped, before delicately licking said pointed ear._

_It took a while for Sesshomaru to think straight. The first thought he was able to process when finally able to think, was that Inuyasha was in fact going through what humans called 'teenagness'. Form the little he knew about humans, this was the time when they began to go through purbity...which ment Inuyasha would start feeling... Which ment he was old enough to..._

_Sesshomaru sat up, trying not to think of what he would like to do to the hanyou laying crumple before him, since he was so abrutly pushed off the yuaki's lap._

_"Sess?" the slightly dazed hanyou asked._

_Sesshomaru did not reply. Instead he walked away as quickly as he could without running. _

_'NONONONONONONO!' his brain screamed at him. 'YOU CAN not LOVE YOUR OWN BROTHER! You can not have thoughts of him laying beneath you as you...NO! Those are exactly the thoughts you MUST avoide at all cost.'_

_That time, when he left, he did not come back for a VERY long time._

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**now we're starting to get into what actuly happened between them... sorry for the shortness...i''m teird, we were in bellingham all day visting grandparents and bookstores (the later was fun...grandparents ...not as much) I love the band Night wish. i'm listening to it...and was while typing this chapter. **


	6. THOSE FALLEN

**lyn: ah...the ever faithful lyn with his/her encouragament...fear not,....i'm writting....**

**Revlofantasy: thank you**

**Shinna: updating, fear not**

**GoTrinba: well...it may take a few chapters to cover it all...depends.... i don't have it all planned out even... but i know the basic ending(of the past part), and i next to get vol. 6&7 before i can go to the present so....**

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CHAPTER SIX: THOSE FALLEN 

I think I'm ill. I no longer am able to walk, and every movement hurts. Jaken scuries around me, panicing, but I can not hear him...

_Sesshomaru growled at the servant as he stormed down the hall. 'damndamndamndamnDAMN!' he ursd sliently. He had drifted in and out of these halls, never once staying more than a night...mostly not even that...For at night it was all he could do not to hunt him down...Him who was so near, and so untouchable. He had finally admitted it to himself...He wanted Inuyasha. 'Damn that hanyou...DAMN HIM!'_

_"Oh." _

_About to give a scathing reply, the words froze somewhere in Sesshomaru's throat as he beheld who he ran into. "No one should look that helpless...and...inviting,' he thought, his face a mask as he looked down and Inuyasha. _

_"Sess...Sesshomaru," the hanyou whispered, shocked at his brother's sudden re-appaerance. _

_"What do want, hanyou." Inuyasha cringed._

_"Sess..."_

_Sesshmaru turned away. "Go to hell." He contuned down the hall, slamming the door when he finally reached his chambers. He stood for a few minutes, staring at the wood, before sinking to his kness and doubling over, all mask dropped. _

_'Inuyasha....'_

_----_

_Why was it that his time was also so impecable? Sesshomaru paced his chamber, snarling at each wall in turn. His father forbid him form leaving until the winter feastivites were over. That ment another ten days cooped up in this godsdamn manor. _

_Whitch ment ten days in the same house as Inuyasha, and ten nights of thinking of how close he was...how it would take so little to slip into his room in the dark and...._

_HELL NO!_

_He would NOT give into such thoughts, he WOULDN'T!_

_Not now, not ever._

_He slammed his fist into the nearest wall._

_"Sess?"_

_The youkai straightened, not daring to turn around. Damndamndamn.... "What is it...Inuyasha?"_

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**Wouldn't it be evil if i ended this chapter here? and didn't update for a week? well... i won't be THAT evil.... so on with the brothers confortation..this should be fun....**

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_Inuyasha shifted from one foot to the other. "Sess..."_

_Anger flared in the youkai. "STOP IT!" he screamed, not able to stand his name whispered like that... like a gentle caress... He leaned his head against he cracked wall. "If you have something to say, say it, otherwise...GET OUT!"_

_Inuyasha stood frozen. "Sess..."_

_"STOP SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT!" Snarling, he at last turned around, and froze. Inuyasha had grown. And he was... beatiful. Sesshomaru shut his eyes, not wanting to deal with the now fully-mature hanyou. _

_"Inu....yasha..." he wimpered, his heart bouncing around wildly. _

_"Sess...I missed you..." He refused to open his eyes, even when he felt a hand slip up his neck to cup his face, and another hand glide over his shoulder. _

_"Why? Did you miss me...because you wanted a brother...or because..." Sesshomaru found it suddenly bordering on impossible to breath. _

_Inuyasha burried his head in the crock of Sesshomaru's neck. " I missed you because...I love you." _

_All the air whoosed out of the room at an alraming speed. The room also began to tilt, and Sesshomaru found himself grasping at Inuyasha in a desparte attempt to reagain control of the room._

_"Get out," he hissed through clenched teeth. Inuyasha raised his head to look at him. He stared fixitly at a point somewhere past Inuyasha's shoulder. _

_"Sess...?"_

_"OUT!"_

_Inuyasha fled._

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_Dinner was a very forced afair. Sesshomaru totaly ignored Inuyasha, while Inuyasha played with his food, not eating a bite, glancing at his brother ever once and a while. Their father sat straight-backed at the head of the table, glaring at his sons as Inuyasha's mother looked between the males fearfuly. _

_Growling, Sesshomaru pushed away from the table, knocking over his chair. He gave a challenging glare to his father before walking away. _

_Inuyasha bowed his head, his bangs hidding his eyes that were filling with sliente tears._

_----_

_Inuyasha once more ventured into his brother's room. Sesshmaru stood by the wall window, the moon's silver light spilling over him. Inuyasha gulped, trying to remember how the breath. Why did his brother have to hate him. He should NEVER have said he loved him....now he had, Sesshomaru despised him. But, how could one smile and be friends with someone when ever time one saw them , they wanted them more?(_**i found that somewhere, no idea who says it...)**

_Inuyasha closed his eyes. "Sess..."_

_"Now what do you want?"_

_'you' But Inuyasha said nothing. _

_Sesshomaru turned. "If you have nothing to say, get out."_

_Inuyasha closed his eyes and the coldness of Sesshomaru's voice. "Please..."_

_Sesshomaru snorted. "so now you're reduced to begging...just like a half-breed."_

_Inuyasha felt tears swarm into his eyes. "Sesshomaru..."_

_"What? Can you even say anything else? That's all you've been saying lately."_

_Inuyasha felt his worls slip away. "Sess... why? WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME?"_

_"Be cause I am your brother. Loving one's brother is wrong."_

_"HOW CAN IT BE WRONG WHEN IT FEELS SO GOOD? Even when it hurts...I-it feels so wonderful... HOW CAN THAT BE WRONG!?"_

_Sesshomaru didn't move, and Inuyasha stood there, chest heaving,, tears running down his cheeks. Ages later, Sesshomaru stepped toward him, wiped the tears off his face. "Go back to your room, sleep."_

_Inuyasha tyrned, and didn't look back, until he was past the bend in the hall, and then he ran, trying to get away from the feelings that hurt him. _

_----_

_Sesshomaru was once more by the window, head bowed. Oh...how that encounter hurt him...it hurt so much..._

_INUYASHA! I LOVE YOU!_

_Please..._

_His head resting against the window glass, he cried. His tears blinded him the blurr running away from the castle._

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**... ITS SO SAD! and took me FOREVER to write... but i'm rather proud of it...poor inu....sniff...**

**988 words!**


	7. THOSE MOURNED

**Mauzkateer: thank you...yeah, i think all their thoughts are a tad bit dis-jointed and tortured** **at this point**

**I love love love this story!!!:i am writing, have no fear.... so glad you like it**

**tearsofacresnt: yes, the world would be a better place if more peole were open to new things, and trust me, i kinda know how you feel... before this summer if someone recemnded a story and it was slash...i proubly would've run away...now on the other hand, i'm writing it. like the name by the way**

**GoTrinba: the one thing i have to say about the sadness of the last chapter is, i am so glad i wasn't listening to the titanic soundtrack while writing it.... thank you very much, i am so glad i have such a faithful revierer /gives GoTrinba an store-bought cookie (since flameofaforgettenstar can't cook)/**

**BE WARNED! this chapter might be a bit odd, cuz i'm hyper for i have just eaten chocolate...**

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CHAPTER SEVEN: THOSE MOURNED 

I am ill. I do not care.

_Sesshomaru glared at his father. "Where is he?" he hissed_

_His father glared back. "Who?"_

_It took a lot for Sesshomaru not to lunge forward and throttle his father. "Inuyasha," he settled for growling._

_For the barest moment his father looked startled. "He...he's not here?"_

_Sesshomaru growled again. "If he was why do you think I'd be asking you. Feh. I'm going to find him."_

_"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"_

_He glanced back at his father once more. "Try and stop me."_

_----_

_Inuyasha curled up in the hollow created by the old tree's branches. He rested his head against his knees, trying to forget the look in his brother's eyes. "He never loved me..." He gazed at the moon, finding it all to easy to imagaine Sesshomaru standing in front of it. The moon was Sesshomaru's, it was his heart and his soul. Sometimes Inuyasha wished he could bring the moon down and hold it, and others he wished that Sesshomaru would live forever in the moon so every night he could look at him, exept those nights when the moon hid and he was human..._

_"Sess..." he bowed his head. "Beloved....Sess..."_

_----_

_'Damn stupid half-wit baka hanyou...' Sesshomaru mentaly snarled, trying in vain to pick up the scent of his wayward lo- ahem, brother. _

_'Damndamndamndamndamndamndamn, SHIT' He walked through the forest, glancing left and right, knowing Inuyasha would be here SOMEWHERE. He couldn't have gotten THAT far, not in the state he was in. 'Which is your fault in the first place...'_

_'Shut up stupid brain, shut up stupid heart...just shut up'_

_Sesshomaru wanted to laugh and the craziness of it all. He was arguing with himself. Truely he had lost his sanity...and he had a feeling only one thing would make that better. With renewed purpose, he started off again._

_----_

_Inuyasha didn't notice when he finally fell out of the tree, didn't notice the startled expression on a face of pure beaty when it beheld him falling, didn't notice when a voice screamed his name..._

_----_

_Cursing, Sesshomaru rushed to inuyasha's side. "INUYASHA!" he cried, trying to keep from weeping in fear and relief. _

_Inuyasha's eyes flutered open slightly. "Sess..." he breathed._

_"Inuyasha..." Damnit, NOW he was crying. "Oh my Inuyasha..."Leaning forward slightly, his lips ghosted over Inuyasha's. "MY Inuyasha....mine. Now and forever."_

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**It's a school day, that's my only excuse for this being so sort. besides, that seemed like a goodish place to end it. as i said, any strangeness is due to chocolate....**


	8. THOSE BLESSED

**i have an excuse for not updating yesterday. the document manager was down so i couldn't upload. i would love to say i have a better chapter since i had 2 days, but i don't. i don't save these on my computer. i DO NOT WANT ME PARENTS FINDING THEM.**

**now then**

**Revolofantasy: youre getting more...**

**Muazkeeter: mesa so glad you like **

**GoTrinba: yeah....sesshomaru crying would be something to see....i want an inu plushy....or a sess one **

**Song 'Wish i had an angel' by nightwish**

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CHAPTER EIGHT: THOSE BLESSED 

**I wish I had an angel   
For one moment of love**

_Inuyasha sat up, wondering where he was. Why was he in  a romm? Hadn't he run away? What happened?_

_"You're awake, finally."_

_Inuyasha visably cringed at that cold voice. Wasn't that the reason he ran away in the first place? To get away from that coldness?_

**I wish I had your angel   
Your Virgin Mary undone   
Im in love with my lust   
Burning angelwings to dust   
I wish I had your angel tonight**

_Sesshomaru watched him impassivly, wondering how long it would take the hanyou to realize he wasn't wearing anything. The small blush that creep across Inuyasha's face showed that he had. Smiling slightly he turned and walked away._

**Deep into a dying day   
I took a step outside an innocent heart**

_Inuyasha swiftly dressed and followed him. "Sessohmaru!"_

_Stopping, the youkai turned and waited, feeling slightly miffled at the use of his full name. _

**Prepare to hate me fall when I may   
This night will hurt you like never before**

_Inuyasha stopped a few feet in fron of him. "Where you the one who followed me?"_

_Sesshomaru nodded once. "Why?"_

_"Do you want to know?"_

**Old loves they die hard   
Old lies they die harder**

_"Yes."_

_"Oh?"_

_"YES!"_

**I wish I had an angel   
For one moment of love   
I wish I had your angel   
Your Virgin Mary undone   
Im in love with my lust   
Burning angelwings to dust   
I wish I had your angel tonight**

_Sesshomaru apraised him for a moment, then glanced around the hall, looking to see if anyone was coming. "Very well."_

**Im going down so frail n cruel   
Drunken disguise changes all the rules   
Old loves they die hard   
Old lies they die harder**

_Inuyasha felt all the air he had left in his lungs fly away as Sesshomaru slammed him against the wall, hard, and crashed his lips against his. _

**I wish I had an angel   
For one moment of love   
I wish I had your angel   
Your Virgin Mary undone   
Im in love with my lust   
Burning angelwings to dust   
I wish I had your angel tonight**

_Inuyasha was too shocked to do much at first, but by the time Sesshomaru's small fangs were nipped clumsily at his bottom lip, his mind was able to process that the one person he loved so much but never thought would love back was kissing him. And this person tasted of flowers and dew...._

_He finally opened his mouth slightly and Sesshomaru dived in, lapping at his own tounge and napping at his lip. Moaning, Inuyasha's tounge danced with his brother's, their bodies pressed against each other, Inuyasa's slammed against the wall still. _

**Greatest thrill   
Not to kill   
But to have the prize of the night   
Hypocrite   
Wannabe friend   
13th disciple who betrayed me for nothing!**

_It was total and complet bliss for the both of them. Since neither really had much, as in none, experance with kissing, it was some-what clumsy, but those are the kind of kisses one remembers, are they not? _

_Finally, when niether could breath anymore, Sesshomaru drew away slightly, making Inuyasha gasp and reach for him, reluctant to let him go. "Now do you understand why?" the youkai was a bit breathless. Inuyasha nodded, his hand trailing through his brother's hair. Said brother growled slightly, capturing the hanyou's mouth once more, but he drew away quicker theis time._

**Last dance, first kiss   
Your touch my bliss   
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts**

_Sesshomaru's body was on fire, as he knew was the hanyou's. He passingly wondered what Inuaysha would do if he carried the hanyou into his room and made him his...Proubly enjoy it and beg for more. But while he was ready to acknowlage he loved his brother, Sesshomaru douted he'd be able to that yet...._

_Well, that was a lie....he had always wanted to make Inuyasha's his....ever since that one day so long ago....He was faintly aware of Inuyasha's hot breath against his neck, and how it made him feel too warm, of how Inuyasha's hands were trailing down his back and sides, claws scrapping lightly against his skin. Of how his own clawed hands held Inuyasha's head while his rested against it, their breathing deep and even._

_Oh how much he loved this hanyou brother of his....and damn what anyone else had to say about it...._

I sat up, displacing Jaken, who had been standing on my chest leaning over my face.

"Mi'lord!" he gasped. "You're awake."

I did not grace him with an answer. Sometime during the night, my fever had broken. But my heart had too. I once was sure that I had locked all these memories away, but now.... Now they were coming back and they wouldn't leave me alone, swarming around me like angery wasp, each one stinging worse that the one that came before....

**I wish I had an angel   
For one moment of love   
I wish I had your angel   
Your Virgin Mary undone   
Im in love with my lust   
Burning angelwings to dust   
I wish I had your angel tonight**

* * *

**/sits back, happy with herself/ well...that took me a while... i hope i didn't totally screw up the kissing scene...it always sounds so good in my head, but as soon as i try writing ti, it sucks...oh well...**


	9. THOSE CURSED

**Polka dot: yeah...i was trying to look at the story and chapter eight disapeared....it's back now thou. inu was naked because after sess found him was was not doing to well, and so sess striped him and put him in bed, and the thing with sess being sick is italics are him remebering what happened in the past, so non-italics (also when it's first person) is when it's the 'present' from the begaining of when you first meet sess, so right now it's after the battle with inu when sess's arm was cut off, and i need vol 7 (whitch is at my libary) before i can move forward with the 'present'. did that help clear things up for you at all?**

**Revlofantasy: your getting more, don't die on me!**

**GoTrinba: i still think the scene in my head was better...but i guess it came out ok...

* * *

**

CHAPTER NINE: THOSE CURSED

_"Sess!"_

_Sesshomaru turned, waiting for Inuyasha to catch up. "Yes small one?"_

_Inuyasha stilled growled when ever Sesshomaru used his old nicknmae, but he was too happy to be loved to mind that much. "Why the hell did you have to start calling me that again? It was bad enough when i actuly WAS small..." Sesshomaru laughed._

_It had been several weeks already, and thpu Sesshomaru had showed Inuyasha some things that one could do with a mouth, he had not yet fully claimed the hanyou as his. Yet._

_And, with kuck, he wouldn't have to for a while yet. Between the fact that he now never wanted to leave this place again, and he never wanted their father to find out, that was the main reason Inuyasha was not yet truely his. _

_Their father must never know._

_----_

_Inuyasha lay curled in Sesshomaru's lap as he sat against the wall, both taking comfort in eachother's warmth during what was the coldest day of the year.  Inuyasha's hand drifted up to rest on his brother's cheak._

_"Sess?" he whispered._

_"Hm?" Sesshomaru glanced down to meet amber eyes._

_"Why do you love me?"_

_The youkai smiled slightly. "Because I do, and I can't stop that."_

_"Do yopu want to stop it?"_

_"I did."_

_"And now?"_

_"Now I'd rather lose my arm that let you go, even for an instant" _(**irony anyone?) **

_"Hm. Good." __Inuyasha snuggled deeper into his brother's embrace. Said brother's only reacation to to hold him tighter._

_"I love you. Now and forever."_

_"Will you love me forever?"_

_"Yes. Now will you stay with me forever? And never forget?"_

_Inuyasha laughed. "I could never forget you Sess."_

_Sesshomaru and Inuyasha fell sliente, content to sit together, holding one another._

_Their father stood watching them, having heard every word. "Oh, my beatiful son. He  will forget you. I will make him, for you do not deserve happyness. And I will make sure you never have it. I will tear your heart out and make you eat it before I'm done."_

* * *

**I had a whole day off school and that's the best i can do? i'm pathitic...oh well, i had to run. do algebra, and the computer was freezing earlier /growl/ not very happy with it. So....who else gets the feeling sess and inu's dad isn't overly fond of having his son's together? especaily since he doesn't seem to like sess.../i know in the actul magna and anamie their dad isn't this mean, he;s actuly really cool, but i feel like making him an jackass for this story so..../**


	10. THOSE NEEDED

**Relofantasy: thank you so much....good, just so you'll be around to finish reading....**

**tearsofacresant: i know the feeling of being on chocolate high....oh.../hides behind couch/ don't worry, fluffy will be sad for a while (aka, a bit over 50 some years) but he WILL be happy...eventuly. this will have a happy ending (at least as i'm planning it right now it will, there is the slight chance it won't, but there's a 99.9 chance it will end happily)**

**GoTrinba: yeah, i know what you mean, you want to know how it ends but you don't want it to end cuz then you wouldn't have more of it to look forward to. i feel like that a lot. that's why reading so' fun **

* * *

CHAPTER TEN: THOSE NEEDED 

_Their father stood watching them, having heard every word. "Oh, my beatiful son. He  will forget you. I will make him, for you do not deserve happyness. And I will make sure you never have it. I will tear your heart out and make you eat it before I'm done."_

_With that he turned and walked away. Glancing up, Sesshomaru felt his world slip away upon seeing the back of his father. 'HE SAW US! Damndamndamndamn!'_

_"Inuyasha?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Do you love me? Enough to be mine forever?"_

_"I already am..." the hanyou thought for a second. "Oh. You mean do I...?" Sesshomaru nodded._

_Inuyasha looked at his brother for a long moment. "Yes Sess, I've always wanted ..."_

_A feirce kiss cut him off, and he gave into hs brother. _

_----_

_Sesshomaru lay, with Inuyasha warm in his arms, looking at the wall. Anytime he knew their father would send for them, and he truely feared what he might do. 'I will always love you small one. No matter what happens. I will. Now and forever...I swear it....'_

_The door banged open, and the messanger froze, seeing the two lords in each other's arms. Inuyasha woke up, blinking sleepily. "What...?"_

_The messanger sallowed. "Milord request your presences in the formal reciving room....as soon as can be managed." Sesshomaru growled and the small youkai scampered. _

_Inuyasha looked fearfuly at his brother. "Sess...did you think he...?" Sesshomaru nodded, causing Inuyasha to pale. "Sess..."_

_"I love you."_

_"I know."_

_"Good." Sesshomaru kissed the hanyou as hard as he could. "We must go see our father."_

_"What is he going to do?"_

_"I don't know, small one, I don't know...But, I know no matter what it is, I will never stop loving you."_

_Inuyasha nodded once._

_Rising, Sesshomaru kissed his brother one more time. "I will never stop loving you."_

_----_

_Moments later, the two stood in front of their father. Said father did not look at them for several moments, instead he gazed out a window. "Sesshomaru," he said finally. "I once told you not to go near Inuyasha, did I not?"_

_"You did."_

_"So then, why did you disobey me?"_

_At last their father turned to look at them. Sesshomaru's hand held a pale Inuyasha's lightly, while Inuyasha gripped his brother's like a life-line thrown to  a drowning man. "You are both idiots. Inuyasha!"_

_The hanyou cringed. "Yes...father?"_

_"Come here."_

_His eyes on Sesshomaru's, Inuyasha walked forward, his hand lingering on the youkai's. "I love you," he whisphered so their father could not hear. _

_"Always."_

_Smiling sadly, Inuyasha walked towards their father who seemed to be getting angier ever second Inuyasha delayed. As soon as the hanyou was far enough away from his brother, two very large and brutish youkai stepped out of the shadows behind Sesshomaru. Franticly Sesshomaru stared up at them as they stepped closer to him. Inuyasha whirled around, but his father was already close enough to grab him. "SESS!"_

_"INUYASHA!"_

_The two burlish youkai each cought one of Sesshomaru's arms, holding him so he could not escape, just as his father held onto Inuyasha who was franticly reaching out toward his struggling brother. "You should never have disobeyed me, Sesshomaru!"_

_"NO!"_

_Inuyasha's eyes were wide with fear. "What are you going to do to me?"_

_"You said, I believe it was something like, 'I will never forget you'. I will make it so...you lied"_

_"What...what do you mean?"_

_"I will make you forget..."_

_"NO! INUYASHA!"_

_Sesshomaru slashed wildly at his captures, wanting, needing to reach Inuyasha...._

_Inuyasha sank away from his father, watching Sesshomaru out of the corner of his eye. "H-how?"_

_"Simply, by taking them away. A simple spell...it won't hurt. You at any rate, as for what it'll do to your brother....Well...."_

_"INUYASHA!"_

_Smiling cruely at his first son, their father reached out a hand to rest it on the trembling Inuyasha's forhead. "Stand still."_

_"No! Sess!"_

_Snarling, his father grabbed his hair in one hand, the other gripping his face. He began chanting, and, slowly Inuyasha's amber eyes dimmed. _

_"No!...Inuyasha...." Sesshomaru cried, sinking ot his knees, just as he faought his way free of the burlish guards. He hung his head as their father pulled his beloved memories of him away. "Inuyasha...."_

_The hanyou collapsed. But when he woke up, he no longer remembered his love. And when he asked Sesshomaru why he looked so sad, wasn't he supossed to be some ice-monster, and when his father smiled that cold, cruel smile at him, Sesshomaru ran as fast as he could to escape the place his heart was found and lost. As he ran, he pasted through the gardens where Inuyasha and he had walked on Spring day, and where Inuyasha first asked him if there was anyone he would ever want to kiss..._

_Other than Inuyasha, Sesshomaru douted he'd ever want to touch another person. But now, his father had taken away all of the hanyou's love and replaced it with hate. _

**Fare thee well, little broken heart   
Downcast eyes, lifetime loneliness **

**Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone**

**Constant longing for the perfect soul   
Unwashed scenery forever gone**

**No love left in me   
No eyes to see the heaven beside me   
My time is yet to come   
So I'll be forever yours **

_A few years later he learned that Inuyasha had been sealed to a tree, and though he did not cry, his heart did. He would never cry again, especaily not over that ... hanyou. Never again. _

_After another 50 years, when that hanyou came back, Sesshomaru saw him again, and felt his heart melt away, only to be rebuilt. For a second, he had hoped, but that hope fled, fled as soon as he saw his brother protecting that human bitch. He would never be able to have the hanyou again. When he at last found his fathers fang, and felt the protective sheild around it, he wanted to cry. But he didn't. For even in death, his father was protecting all his possions from his first son. Just as he had sheilded Inuyasha from him. Thus was born his desire to kill Inuyasha. _

_He could never have him again, and every time he saw the hanyou, he felt as if a sword had been inserted into his chest and ripped out, every harsh word twisting it in deeper. _

_BUT HE WOULD NOT CRY FOR THAT HANYOU._ _Never again....Never...Inuyasha...._

* * *

**SO there it is. why they 'hate' eachother. i got this idea because in the magna, a lot of the time, sess is talking about memories, like, when he first see's inuyasha 'ah, i'm flattered you remember me' and later, 'i forgat nothing' ect ect ect.... so....i got this idea. and this story IS NOT DONE! is not**

**the happy ending hasn't come yet...though i may add that as a sequel...we'll see... **

**i finally got vol 7 today...BUT IT WAS IN FREAKIN SPAINISH while i am in spainish, this till ticked me off cuz i could not read it all! damndamndamn! so now i have to start the wait all over again for a english version...andi'm broke so i can't buy it...damnit.not happy person....**

**song 'forever yours' by nightwish**


	11. THOSE ANSWERED

**Revlofanftasy: well, you;ll have to reasd more of the sequel, i think 10 chapters is good**

**GoTrinba:that was almost exactly what i had in mind actuly...the crying would be a good idea though....**

**ok peoples who have read this story, i'm done with this part, and in the sequel(proubly tomoorw or this week sometime) there will be tearsofacresant's happy ending. SO, pretty much, this stories done, but the actul story isn't. sequel soon. until then, chao. (spainisg for, bye)**


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